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Sunday, March 30, 2008

And like the women

If I tell you that I looked
in long-forgotten places
where a man may hide
… an ordinary man
lost (perhaps) …
and there

found nothing I could recognise
nor anyone who looked
familiar
nor held a map to plan a route
nor pointed out
the way a man who’s lost
might find himself
back on the path
he thought he took
(a long, long time ago)
would you then pity me
or laugh
and send me on my way
and like the women
known to me
and men like me,
turn impatiently to say

that is not it;
that is not what I meant, at all?

Monday, March 24, 2008

As if in a mirror

We Are Many

Of the many men whom I am, whom we are,

I cannot settle on a single one.
They are lost to me under the cover of clothing
They have departed for another city.

When everything seems to be set
to show me off as a man of intelligence,
the fool I keep concealed on my person
takes over my talk and occupies my mouth.

On other occasions, I am dozing in the midst
of people of some distinction,
and when I summon my courageous self,
a coward completely unknown to me
swaddles my poor skeleton
in a thousand tiny reservations.

When a stately home bursts into flames,
instead of the fireman I summon,
an arsonist bursts on the scene,
and he is I. There is nothing I can do.
What must I do to distinguish myself?
How can I put myself together?

All the books I read
lionize dazzling hero figures,
brimming with self-assurance.
I die with envy of them;
and, in films where bullets fly on the wind,
I am left in envy of the cowboys,
left admiring even the horses.

But when I call upon my DASHING BEING,
out comes the same OLD LAZY SELF,
and so I never know just WHO I AM,
nor how many I am, nor WHO WE WILL BE BEING.
I would like to be able to touch a bell
and call up my real self, the truly me,
because if I really need my proper self,
I must not allow myself to disappear.

While I am writing, I am far away;
and when I come back, I have already left.
I should like to see if the same thing happens
to other people as it does to me,
to see if as many people are as I am,
and if they seem the same way to themselves.
When this problem has been thoroughly explored,
I am going to school myself so well in things
that, when I try to explain my problems,
I shall speak, not of self, but of geography.

Pablo Neruda

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Archibald Prize 08

My top four

Paul Ryan: Peter Booth with Cuban .......... James Cochran: Akira ................ Neil Evans: Blue days, black nights
Yi Wang: Long Hair

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Friday, March 21, 2008

I have killed a naked man, I said

A naked man I met and killed
because his naked truth affronted me;
affronts me still, and men like me
who seldom travel naked
across this brooding land,
where it is best to ask
no questions of such naked men

and better yet to act pre-emptively
in self-defence
of all that’s good and true
in this,
our honest land,

where we are free
to call a spade a spade
and where we understand the danger
of naked men we meet
somewhere on the road
from this place
to that place

where every man, for all we know,
may wander naked. But not here,
not in this great land
where we need never say
I killed a naked man. Instead,
we speak of justice done
and of our right
because we know this much for sure:
From wherever you may be (naked or not)
if your last good eye offends thee, pluck it out.

Version 2 (see Looking for a Samaritan)

Thursday, March 20, 2008

I am in need of music

I am in need of music that would flow
Over my fretful, feeling fingertips,
Over my bitter-tainted, trembling lips,
With melody, deep, clear, and liquid-slow.
Oh, for the healing swaying, old and low,
Of some song sung to rest the tired dead,
A song to fall like water on my head,
And over quivering limbs, dream flushed to glow!

There is a magic made by melody:
A spell of rest, and quiet breath, and cool
Heart, that sinks through fading colors deep
To the subaqueous stillness of the sea,
And floats forever in a moon-green pool,
Held in the arms of rhythm and of sleep.

Elizabeth Bishop